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How to learn English? (30/30 Challenge)


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Improve your english #121 (permalink) Tue Aug 08, 2006 22:12 pm   Improve your english
 

Hi Heike

lissy wrote:
Your assumption about Hale?s demands are correct. He would kill Susan, if the commander didn?t hand over his gun. It is also possible, when I use "demand" in this sentence?
The word demand is OK to describe what Hale did, but it didn't work well in the structure of the sentence.

Here is a way to write the sentence (using "demand"): Hale demanded the commander's gun and said he would kill Susan if he (the commander) didn't hand it over. The problem with this sentence is that the word he gets confusing (Who is "he"?) and it doesn't sound good to repeat "the commander" again. That's why I reworded the sentence.

So, now your latest report and my suggestions. Today I have a question about the word spoon. That made no sense to me, so I changed it to spoof. Does that sound right?

lissy wrote:
Susan and the commander tie Hale up (?) and the commander instructed Susan continue to look for the passkey.
Susan and the commander tied Hale up and the commander instructed Susan to continue looking for the passkey.

lissy wrote:
Suddenly they heared a horn and a yellow siren light spun abvoe the floor. The commander left the room and went upstairs to his terminal.
Suddenly they heard a siren and a yellow warning light started spinning above the floor. The commander left the room and went upstairs to his terminal

lissy wrote:
Hale woke up from the loud signal and he asked Susan, if she released him. Susan countiue to demanded the passkey form him, but he told her, that he has?nt it and that he isn?t North Dakota.
The loud siren woke Hale up and he asked Susan to release him. Susan again demanded the passkey from him, but he denied having it and said he wasn't North Dakota.

lissy wrote:
He told her that he had spoon the account form the commander and there was a tape. The mails form North Dakato in his account were only copys form Strathmores account.
He told her that he had spoofed (?) the commander's account and made a tape. The emails from North Dakota in his account were only copies from Strathmore's account.

lissy wrote:
He told that he had read Brainstroms form Strathmore and he knews his plans about Digital Fortress. He claimed that he had abort her tracer, because he thought she were looking for him.
He said that he had read Brainstorms from Strathmore and he knew about his plans for Digital Fortress. He claimed that he had aborted her tracer because he thought she was looking for him.

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

Deception Point #122 (permalink) Wed Aug 09, 2006 11:01 am   Deception Point
 

Hello everyone,

I'm on a business trip this week and the week after, so I rarely can join the forum. But this are my freshest informations about the story: Shocked

Being ashonished about the fossil in the rock, Rachel could not say a word. Now she understands the high importance by Herney on the discovery. It's not only an organism like bacteria or cells of biomass, it's an animal! That discovery will change history.

She is introduced to paleontologist Willi Ming (?). The tall asian man is another civilian recruit of the President. Ming explains that the fossil is not a bug but a lous because it has 7 pairs of legs. A big surprise is that it fits in Darvinian qualification. It is similar to species on earth! When Ming tells her that there are more fossils in the rock, Rachel is chocked. The men had put a x-ray camera down on the rock. And found so many species that they call it a nest. There they also found "Mommy", a very big lous, two feet long. When Rachel wonders why they are so big but similar, Ming explains the context of different gravity on earth and in space. In the end they think of the theory that live could be seated here on earth from a foreign planet thousands of years ago. Up to this moment Rachel doesn't know what will be her part.

Yours Vivien
_Vivien_
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 16
Location: Germany

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How to learn English? (30/30 Challenge) #123 (permalink) Wed Aug 09, 2006 14:03 pm   How to learn English? (30/30 Challenge)
 

Hi Vivien

I wish you a successful and enjoyable business trip and hope that you'll be able to log onto the forum at least a couple times a week. Wink

_vivien_ wrote:
Hello everyone,

I'm on a business trip this week and the week after, so I rarely can join the forum. But this are my freshest informations about the story: Shocked
I'm on a business trip this week and next, so I won't be able to join the forum too often. But this is my latest information about the story:

_vivien_ wrote:
Being ashonished about the fossil in the rock, Rachel could not say a word. Now she understands the high importance by Herney on the discovery.
Being astonished by the fossil in the rock, Rachel can not say a word. Now she understands why Herney has placed such high importance on the discovery.

_vivien_ wrote:
It's not only an organism like bacteria or cells of biomass, it's an animal! That discovery will change history.
It's not just an organism like bacteria or cells of biomass, it's a creature! This discovery will change history.

_vivien_ wrote:
She is introduced to paleontologist Willi Ming (?). The tall asian man is another civilian recruit of the President.
She is introduced to paleontologist Willi Ming, a tall Asian man, who is another one of the President's civilian recruits

_vivien_ wrote:
Ming explains that the fossil is not a bug but a lous because it has 7 pairs of legs. A big surprise is that it fits in Darvinian qualification. It is similar to species on earth!
Ming explains that the fossil is not a bug but a louse because it has 7 pairs of legs. A big surprise is that it fits Darwinian theory. It is similar to species on earth!

_vivien_ wrote:
When Ming tells her that there are more fossils in the rock, Rachel is chocked. The men had put a x-ray camera down on the rock. And found so many species that they call it a nest.
When Ming tells her that there are more fossils in the rock, Rachel is shocked. The scientists had put a x-ray camera down a shaft in the rock and found so many of the species that they refer to it as a nest.

_vivien_ wrote:
There they also found "Mommy", a very big lous, two feet long. When Rachel wonders why they are so big but similar, Ming explains the context of different gravity on earth and in space.
Inside the rock,they also found the "mother" --- a two-foot long louse. When Rachel asks why they are similar to but so much bigger than known louse species, Ming explains the effect of the differing gravitational forces found on earth and in space.

_vivien_ wrote:
In the end they think of the theory that live could be seated here on earth from a foreign planet thousands of years ago. Up to this moment Rachel doesn't know what will be her part.
In the end they consider the theory that life on earth might have been seeded by beings from another planet thousands of years ago. At this point, Rachel still doesn't know what her role the Ice Dome is supposed to be.

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

Deception Point #124 (permalink) Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:41 pm   Deception Point
 

Hello everyone,

This is my latest information about the story:

In the Ice Dome, Rachel is introduced to Nora Mangor (?), the fourth civilian. Being a specialist of arctic and ice, Mangor had found out easily when the meteorite had landet on earth. Mangor has the idea to get the rock out of the ice. Seeing no heavy machinery, Rachel wonders how she wants to realise it. Mangor wants to use x-ray power to get the ice smelting away. It works and the rock reaches the surface.
Razz Preparing for the TV documentry the scientists collect at the broadcasting area, the only alighted place in the Ice Dome. Ekstrom the administrator of NASA leads Rachel to a special, safe room. There, an assistant is preparing a closed line to the President. Being alone in the room, Rachel suddenly sees Herney on the screen. Herney asks for her impressions of the discovery. Coming to the point, Herney asks her for a job to do. He wants her to inform his staff about the discovery. Rachel first thinks being used. She doesn't want go public and be an instrument of politics which harms her father. Herney only wants her to inform his staff, he repeats and Rachel understands. When she asks for her preparation time, the screen switches. Herney is no longer on the screen but his whole staff in the Oval Office.

In the meantime Gabrielle Ash and Sexton are sitting in the senator's car. Sexton receives a call on his private line. Gabrielle wonders who this could be. A new affair? Only very few people besinde Gabrielle have this number. Very unusual Sexton makes an appointment with the caller in his private apartment in DC. After the call Gabrielle asks him to notice that appointment in his calendary. But it is no need to. The appointment is already noticed by two letters: p e. Gabrielle doesn't know what it stands for. Perhaps "private evening" or "piss off everyone" (sorry! Shocked ).

At the same time scientists Delta One, Two and Three stand beside the hole and look at the water. In total surprise, they see something strange on the surface...

Have a nice weekend Smile
Vivien
_Vivien_
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 16
Location: Germany

Vivien August 11 #125 (permalink) Fri Aug 11, 2006 15:16 pm   Vivien August 11
 

Hi Vivien

Here are my suggestions:

_vivien_ wrote:
In the Ice Dome, Rachel is introduced to Nora Mangor (?), the fourth civilian. Being a specialist of arctic and ice, Mangor had found out easily when the meteorite had landet on earth.
In the Ice Dome, Rachel is introduced to Dr. Norah Mangor, the fourth civilian. Being a specialist of the Arctic and ice, Mangor was easily able to determine when the meteorite had landed on earth.

_vivien_ wrote:
Mangor has the idea to get the rock out of the ice. Seeing no heavy machinery, Rachel wonders how she wants to realise it.
Getting the meteorite out of the ice isn't easy. Rachel sees no heavy machinery and wonders how the rock can be extracted without it. But Mangor had had a clever idea.

_vivien_ wrote:
Mangor wants to use x-ray power to get the ice smelting away. It works and the rock reaches the surface. Razz
Mangor wants to use x-ray power to melt the ice away. It works and the rock reaches the surface.
They are using lasers to heat up the meteorite. This causes the ice around and above the meterorite to melt. As the ice melts, the meteorite is slowly raised to the surface using cables and pulleys.

_vivien_ wrote:
Preparing for the TV documentry the scientists collect at the broadcasting area, the only alighted place in the Ice Dome. Ekstrom the administrator of NASA leads Rachel to a special, safe room.
Preparing for the TV documentry the scientists gather at the broadcasting area, which is now the only illuminated place in the Ice Dome. Ekstrom (the administrator of NASA) leads Rachel to a special, high security room.

_vivien_ wrote:
There, an assistant is preparing a closed line to the President. Being alone in the room, Rachel suddenly sees Herney on the screen. Herney asks for her impressions of the discovery.
In this room an assistant is preparing a closed line to the President. After being left alone in the room, Rachel suddenly sees Herney on a screen. Herney asks for her impressions of the discovery.

_vivien_ wrote:
Coming to the point, Herney asks her for a job to do. He wants her to inform his staff about the discovery. Rachel first thinks being used. She doesn't want go public and be an instrument of politics which harms her father.
Finally coming to the main reason for Rachel's participation in the discovery, Herney asks her to do something: He wants her to inform his staff about the discovery. At first Rachel thinks she is being used. She doesn't want go public and be used as a political instrument to hurt her father's campaign.

_vivien_ wrote:
Herney only wants her to inform his staff, he repeats and Rachel understands. When she asks for her preparation time, the screen switches. Herney is no longer on the screen but his whole staff in the Oval Office.
Herney repeats that he only wants her to inform his staff and Rachel understands that the briefing is to be private. When she asks how much time she'll have to prepare, the screen changes and Herney is no longer on the screen. Instead Rachel sees his entire staff crowded into the Oval Office.

_vivien_ wrote:
In the meantime Gabrielle Ash and Sexton are sitting in the senator's car. Sexton receives a call on his private line. Gabrielle wonders who this could be. A new affair?
In the meantime Gabrielle Ash and Sexton are sitting in the senator's car. Sexton receives a call on his private line. Gabrielle wonders who it could be. Is he involved in a new affair?

_vivien_ wrote:
Only very few people besinde Gabrielle have this number. Very unusual Sexton makes an appointment with the caller in his private apartment in DC.
Only very few people besides Gabrielle have this number. To Rachel's amazement, Sexton then arranges an appointment with the caller in his private apartment in DC.

_vivien_ wrote:
After the call Gabrielle asks him to notice that appointment in his calendary. But it is no need to. The appointment is already noticed by two letters: p e. Gabrielle doesn't know what it stands for. Perhaps "private evening" or "piss off everyone" (sorry! Shocked ).
After the call Gabrielle asks him if she should put the appointment in his calendar. But there is no need to. The evening is already blocked off with two letters: P.E. Gabrielle doesn't know what it stands for. Perhaps "private evening" or "piss off everyone".

_vivien_ wrote:
At the same time scientists Delta One, Two and Three stand beside the hole and look at the water. In total surprise, they see something strange on the surface...
At the same time three commandos named Delta One, Two and Three are viewing the hole in the ice. They look at the water in total surprise and see something strange on the surface...(Delta one, Delta Two and Delta Three are not scientists. They are "Special Operations commandos" and they are spying from outside the Ice Dome. They have spy cameras inside the Ice Dome and they are viewing the pictures coming from their cameras.)

I wish you a nice weekend, too, Vivien! Very Happy

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

Improve your english #126 (permalink) Sat Aug 12, 2006 17:03 pm   Improve your english
 

Hey Amy,

Thanks for the last correction. Reagarding your question in my last text: I meant the word snoop. I meant that Hale had snoop in the commanders account, this mean he had to creep about investigation secretly. Sorry for my mistake.

The story goes on: Susan Fletcher had configure her tracer again and now she became a information from the. She read the message and she was shocked(?), if on the monitor appeared a unthinkable email-adress:NDAKOTA=ET@DOSHISHA.EDU. ET stood for Ensei Tankado, this means North Dakota and Ensei Tankado is the same person. North Dakota didn?t exist. The whole story was a fake. Now the story was clear. Susan remembered her first reaction when Strathmore told her about the unbreakable algorithm. She had sworn ist was impossible. He had ask him what proof did he actually had, that Tankado had really created Digital Fortress. It was only a lot of hype in his e-mail and the translater, the computer had been locked in a endless loop for twenty hours. The only explanation for this was a virus. But how came a virus in the translater. The answer was "Strathmore bypassed Gauntlet. "At this passage I must explain Gauntlet, this is a seies of powerful circuit level gateways, packet filters and disinfectant programs that scanned inbound files for computer viruses. When the files was unknown Gauntlet rejected this. Only Gauntlet confirmation that the file was clean Sys-Secs bypassed Gauntlets filters and send the file into Tanslater." In this case Strathmore had downloaded Tankados Digital Fortres file and tried to send it into the Translater. But Gauntlet had rejected the file because it contained dangerous mutation strings. Normally Strathmore concerned, but he had seen Tankados e-mail and he was convince Digital Fortress was safe to load. Digital Fortress was a trick and the NSA was taken in.

Regards Heike
Lissy
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 28 Jun 2006
Posts: 25

Improve your english #127 (permalink) Sun Aug 13, 2006 9:04 am   Improve your english
 

Hi Heike

lissy wrote:
Hey Amy,

Thanks for the last correction. Reagarding your question in my last text: I meant the word snoop. I meant that Hale had snooped in the commander's account, this means he had to investigate secretly. Sorry for my mistake.
No problem, Heike. The word snoop makes sense. Very Happy

By the way, I've found out that the name of the gigantic computer that does all the code-breaking at the NSA is "TRANSLATR". (But I have no idea why the NSA decided to spell it that way. Wink)

Here are my suggested corrections:

lissy wrote:
Susan Fletcher had configure her tracer again and now she became a information from the. She read the message and she was shocked(?), if on the monitor appeared a unthinkable email-adress: NDAKOTA=ET@DOSHISHA.EDU.
Susan Fletcher had to configure her tracer again and afterwards finally received some information from it. She read the message and she was shocked when an unthinkable email-adress appeared on the monitor: NDAKOTA=ET@DOSHISHA.EDU.

lissy wrote:
ET stood for Ensei Tankado, this means North Dakota and Ensei Tankado is the same person. North Dakota didn?t exist. The whole story was a fake. Now the story was clear.
ET stood for Ensei Tankado, and this meant North Dakota and Ensei Tankado were the same person. North Dakota didn?t exist. It was now clear that the whole story had been a fake.

lissy wrote:
Susan remembered her first reaction when Strathmore told her about the unbreakable algorithm. She had sworn ist was impossible. He had ask him what proof did he actually had, that Tankado had really created Digital Fortress.
Susan remembered her first reaction when Strathmore had told her about the unbreakable algorithm. She had sworn ist was impossible. She had asked him what proof he actually had that Tankado had really created Digital Fortress.

lissy wrote:
It was only a lot of hype in his e-mail and the translater, the computer had been locked in a endless loop for twenty hours. The only explanation for this was a virus. But how came a virus in the translater. The answer was "Strathmore bypassed Gauntlet.
Tankado's e-mails had only contained a lot of hype and TRANSLATR, the huge code-breaking computer, had now been locked in a endless loop for twenty hours. The only explanation for this was a virus. But how had a virus gotten into TRANSLATR? The answer was that Strathmore had bypassed Gauntlet.

lissy wrote:
"At this passage I must explain Gauntlet, this is a seies of powerful circuit level gateways, packet filters and disinfectant programs that scanned inbound files for computer viruses. When the files was unknown Gauntlet rejected this.
At this point I must explain what Gauntlet is. It is a series of powerful circuit level gateways, packet filters and disinfectant programs that scan inbound files for computer viruses. Whenever files are unknown, Gauntlet rejects and blocks them.

lissy wrote:
Only Gauntlet confirmation that the file was clean Sys-Secs bypassed Gauntlets filters and send the file into Tanslater."
Only files that have received Gauntlet confirmation that they're clean are allowed into TRANSLATR.

lissy wrote:
In this case Strathmore had downloaded Tankados Digital Fortres file and tried to send it into the Translater. But Gauntlet had rejected the file because it contained dangerous mutation strings.
In this case Strathmore had downloaded Tankado's Digital Fortres file and tried to send it into TRANSLATR. But Gauntlet had rejected the file because it contained dangerous mutation strings.

lissy wrote:
Normally Strathmore concerned, but he had seen Tankados e-mail and he was convince Digital Fortress was safe to load.
Normally Strathmore would have been concerned by this, but he had seen Tankados e-mail and he was convinced that Digital Fortress was safe to load.

lissy wrote:
Digital Fortress was a trick and the NSA was taken in.
So, Strathmore had bypassed Gauntlet and loaded the Digital Fortress file. Unfortunately, Digital Fortress was a trick and the NSA had been taken in by it.

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

Deception Point #128 (permalink) Tue Aug 22, 2006 15:58 pm   Deception Point
 

Hello Amy,

Back from my business trip, I finally can go on with the story: Smile

Being hat his work area, aside from the others in the dark, paleontologist Ming feels a vibration. Something is shocking the ice, he thinks. Being used to earth quakes in california, Ming is alamed. He decides to have a look down the water in the ice hole. There was something strange. First he thinks about an optical illusion. Instead of calling the other scientists in the Ice Dome, Ming decides to stay alone, to have his own discovery. He lays down on the ice, trying to reach the surface of the water.

At the same time Delta One, Two and Three watch the scene by the little cameras above. They have to react now! They decide to improvise.

Only little space devides Ming`s fingers from the surface. In this moment, something hits his eye. Because of his reflexes, he grabbes his eyes and looses control of his body. No longer he can held his body out of the water. He falls down the hole. It is cold as ice. He tries to get out but he can't get grip on the icy wall. His clothes, heavy because full of water, pull him down. He cries for help, but noone hears him. Under the surface of the water, Ming can not stand any longer against his reflex to breathe. He opens his mouth and inhaled. Ming dies painful and his body sinks into the deep, cold and dark water.

In the meantime Rachel sits in front of the monitor. The whole staff of the President is watching her. Being very nervous Rachel stammers a few sentences. She tries to cool down. But she is sweating and does not know how to get out of this situation. She stops for a moment and remembers her mom. She told her long before, to speak it out straight, when you don't know how to explain the problem. Rachel takes a deep breath and starts to explain her situation. The staff understands her panik and gives her a smile. Then Rachel gets her body and voice under control and informs the staff.
_Vivien_
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 16
Location: Germany

Deception Point - Aug. 22 #129 (permalink) Tue Aug 22, 2006 20:26 pm   Deception Point - Aug. 22
 

Hi Vivien

You must have been quite busy on your business trip. It's great to see you back in the forum and posting again. Very Happy

Here are my suggestions for your report:

_vivien_ wrote:
Being hat his work area, aside from the others in the dark, paleontologist Ming feels a vibration. Something is shocking the ice, he thinks. Being used to earth quakes in california, Ming is alamed.
Paleontologist Ming is away from the others in the dark and feels a vibration while at his work area. Something is rattling the ice, he thinks. Being used to earthquakes in California, Ming is alarmed.

_vivien_ wrote:
He decides to have a look down the water in the ice hole. There was something strange. First he thinks about an optical illusion.
He decides to have a look down the shaft of water in the ice hole. He sees something strange there and initially thinks it's an optical illusion.

_vivien_ wrote:
Instead of calling the other scientists in the Ice Dome, Ming decides to stay alone, to have his own discovery. He lays down on the ice, trying to reach the surface of the water.
Instead of calling the other scientists over, Ming decides to remain alone so that the new discovery will be his alone. He lays down on the ice, trying to reach the surface of the water.

_vivien_ wrote:
At the same time Delta One, Two and Three watch the scene by the little cameras above. They have to react now! They decide to improvise.
At the same time Delta One, Two and Three are watching this scene on their tiny cameras above. They have to react now! They decide to improvise.

_vivien_ wrote:
Only little space devides Ming`s fingers from the surface. In this moment, something hits his eye. Because of his reflexes, he grabbes his eyes and looses control of his body.
Only a little space separates Ming`s fingers from the surface. As Ming is straining to touch the surface of the water, something hits his eye. He reflexively grabs his eyes and looses control of his body.

_vivien_ wrote:
No longer he can held his body out of the water. He falls down the hole. It is cold as ice. He tries to get out but he can't get grip on the icy wall. His clothes, heavy because full of water, pull him down.
No longer can he keep his body out of the water. He falls down the hole. It is cold as ice. He tries to get out but he can't get a grip on the icy wall. His clothes, having become heavy with water, pull him down.

_vivien_ wrote:
He cries for help, but noone hears him. Under the surface of the water, Ming can not stand any longer against his reflex to breathe. He opens his mouth and inhaled. Ming dies painful and his body sinks into the deep, cold and dark water.
He cries for help, but no one hears him. Under the surface of the water, Ming can no longer resist his reflex to breathe. He opens his mouth and inhales. Ming dies painfully and his body sinks into the deep dark cold water.

_vivien_ wrote:
In the meantime Rachel sits in front of the monitor. The whole staff of the President is watching her. Being very nervous Rachel stammers a few sentences. She tries to cool down. But she is sweating and does not know how to get out of this situation.
In the meantime Rachel is seated in front of the monitor. The President's entire staff is watching her. Being very nervous, Rachel can only stammer a few sentences. She tries to calm down but she is sweating and does not know how to get out of this situation.

_vivien_ wrote:
She stops for a moment and remembers her mom. She told her long before, to speak it out straight, when you don't know how to explain the problem. Rachel takes a deep breath and starts to explain her situation.
She stops for a moment and remembers her mom. Long ago she'd given Rachel advice about what to do when you don't know how to explain a problem: "When in doubt, just spit it out." Rachel takes a deep breath and dives into an explanation of the situation.

_vivien_ wrote:
The staff understands her panik and gives her a smile. Then Rachel gets her body and voice under control and informs the staff.
The staff understand her nervousness and smile. Then Rachel gets her body and voice under control and briefs the staff.

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

Deception Point #130 (permalink) Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:29 am   Deception Point
 

Hello everyone,

The story goes on:

Gabrielle Ash enters the White House and wonders whom (?) she would meet. A guide is leading her through the building. They enter the Map Room. Gabrielle is very impressed and exited. The guide knocks a door in the west wing of the White House. Inside it is dark and the air is full of smoke. Marjorie Tench welcomes Gabrielle, who is shocked. She realises it was Tench, who has written the mails containing information about NASA. The women discuss about privatisation of the agency, the advantages and disadvantages. Tench is concerned Sexton would give NASA in private hands, if he is elected. She reaches Gabrielle an envelope. Inside should be data about Sexton's high expenses on TV-advertising. Sexton can not own all this money. So Tench accuses him to have it from illegal business. She orders Gabrielle to decide to stand behind Sexton and go to jail or to work together with Thench.

At the same time in the Ice Dome Mike, Rachel, Corky Marlinson, Nora and the administrator discuss about the luminescence planktum. Nora denies a failing in her data. "There is no crack in the ice!" To prove out, the administrator decides that four of them should dive into the water. All five are wondering where Dr. Ming is.

Regards
Vivien
_Vivien_
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 16
Location: Germany

Deception Point - August 28 #131 (permalink) Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:24 am   Deception Point - August 28
 

Hi Vivien

Here are my suggestions for your latest report:

_vivien_ wrote:
Gabrielle Ash enters the White House and wonders whom (?) she would meet. A guide is leading her through the building. They enter the Map Room. Gabrielle is very impressed and exited.
Gabrielle Ash enters the White House and wonders who(m) she is going to meet. A guide leads her through the building. When they enter the Map Room, Gabrielle is very impressed and excited.

According to traditional grammar, the word "whom" is technically correct but in reality the word "who" would be used by nearly all native speakers.

_vivien_ wrote:
The guide knocks a door in the west wing of the White House. Inside it is dark and the air is full of smoke. Marjorie Tench welcomes Gabrielle, who is shocked.
The guide knocks on a door in the west wing of the White House. Inside it is dark and the air is full of smoke. Gabrielle is shocked when she finds herself being welcomed by Marjorie Tench.

_vivien_ wrote:
She realises it was Tench, who has written the mails containing information about NASA. The women discuss about privatisation of the agency, the advantages and disadvantages.
She now realizes it is Tench who has been sending her the anonymous emails containing information about NASA. The women discuss the advantages and disadvantages of privatizing NASA.

_vivien_ wrote:
Tench is concerned Sexton would give NASA in private hands, if he is elected. She reaches Gabrielle an envelope. Inside should be data about Sexton's high expenses on TV-advertising. Sexton can not own all this money.
Tench is concerned that Sexton would privatize NASA if he is elected. She hands Gabrielle an envelope containing documentation of Sexton's huge TV advertising expenses. Sexton doesn't have enough money to pay for such expensive advertising.

_vivien_ wrote:
So Tench accuses him to have it from illegal business. She orders Gabrielle to decide to stand behind Sexton and go to jail or to work together with Thench.
Tench accuses him of receiving illegal donations from various companies. She gives Gabrielle the choice of either standing behind Sexton and going to jail or working together with Tench

_vivien_ wrote:
At the same time in the Ice Dome Mike, Rachel, Corky Marlinson, Nora and the administrator discuss about the luminescence planktum. Nora denies a failing in her data. "There is no crack in the ice!" To prove out, the administrator decides that four of them should dive into the water. All five are wondering where Dr. Ming is.
Meanwhile inside the Ice Dome Mike, Rachel, Corky Marlinson, Nora and the administrator are discussing the luminescence plankton. Nora denies that there could be any errors in her data. "There is no crack in the ice!" To verify this, the administrator decides that four of them should dive into the water***. All five are wondering where Dr. Ming is.

***Vivien, you should listen to this part again. I think the plan is that four of them are going to go outside the Ice Dome in order to get some additional data (using special devices) about the ice.

NOTE:
talk about an issue / discuss an issue --> Do not use the word about with the verb discuss


I'm looking forward to your report tomorrow. Very Happy

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

Improve your english #132 (permalink) Thu Aug 31, 2006 13:05 pm   Improve your english
 

Hello,

I?m back from holidays. I was in Italy and it was very nice.

Ok, back to the story "Digital Fortress".

David Becker is in Sevillia and he is looking for the ring. He found the punk girl and she gave him the ring. David didn?t realized that someone chased him. A man with wire-glasses his name is Hulohot is followed him and he want to kill him. Becker escaped with a vespa in a other spanish district, but Hulohot found him but Becker escaped in a cathedral. At this time in toke place conformation in the cathedral and Hulohot is waiting for back in front of the curch. He thought he detect him, because Becker is once person without black clothers. While the conformation is going on Becker bought a black jacket from a man in the church. If the crowd left the cathedral Hulohot killed the wrong man. He realized that Becker was still in the church. He went in the church and the conformation was going on (Can I also say the conformation continue regardless on??.
Ok this was my report today.
At last on question: Can i say I have spoken with someone or is this wrong?

Regards Heike
Lissy
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 28 Jun 2006
Posts: 25

Digital Fortress August 31 #133 (permalink) Thu Aug 31, 2006 17:38 pm   Digital Fortress August 31
 

lissy wrote:
Hello,

I?m back from holidays. I was in Italy and it was very nice.

Hi Heike
I'd been wondering where you'd disappeared to. Wink Glad to hear you had a pleasant vacation.

lissy wrote:
Ok, back to the story "Digital Fortress".
Hooray! Very Happy
Your report mixed simple present and simple past tense, so I've changed things to the present tense. I think your specific questions are answered in my suggestions:

lissy wrote:
David Becker is in Sevillia and he is looking for the ring. He found the punk girl and she gave him the ring. David didn?t realized that someone chased him.
David Becker is in Seville and he is looking for the ring. He finds the punk girl and she gives him the ring. David doesn?t realize that an assassin named Hulohot is following him.

lissy wrote:
A man with wire-glasses his name is Hulohot is followed him and he want to kill him. Becker escaped with a vespa in a other spanish district, but Hulohot found him but Becker escaped in a cathedral.
Hulohot, who wears wire-frame glasses, tries to kill Becker. Although Becker manages to escape on a Vespa to another part of the city, Hulohot finds him. Becker escapes again, this time losing himself among the church-goers in a cathedral.

lissy wrote:
At this time in toke place conformation in the cathedral and Hulohot is waiting for back in front of the curch. He thought he detect him, because Becker is once person without black clothers.
Not long after Becker sits down in a pew, holy communion begins. Hulohot is waiting in the back, watching the front of the church. He thinks he can spot Becker, who is the only person not wearing black clothes.

lissy wrote:
While the conformation is going on Becker bought a black jacket from a man in the church. If the crowd left the cathedral Hulohot killed the wrong man. He realized that Becker was still in the church. He went in the church and the conformation was going on (Can I also say the conformation continue regardless on??.
While the communion is going on, Becker buys a black jacket from a man in the church. As the crowd moves forward in the cathedral, Hulohot kills the wrong man --- the man wearing Becker's khaki blazer. He realizes that Becker is still in the church and searches the congregation frantically. Meanwhile, holy communion is proceeding uninterrupted.

lissy wrote:
Ok this was my report today.
At last on questionOne last question: Can i say I have spoken with someone or is this wrong?

Yes, you can say that, but if you're referring to a specific time in the past, it would be better to say "I spoke with/to someone" (The verb tense may depend on the context.)

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

Deception Point #134 (permalink) Tue Sep 05, 2006 15:52 pm   Deception Point
 

Hello Amy,

You are right. Rachel, Corky, Nora and Mike are not going to dive. They leave the Ice Dome to get new data from the outside ice. Their way was very hard because of the stormy weather.
Finally they reach the position to get the facts; if there is a shaft in the ice or not. Nora prepares her instruments. She only wants to work with Mike. After seeing the printout she is shocked. The paper shows a whole from the place the rock was found down to the water under the ice shelf. That could mean that someone placed the rock there to trick them! The rock is not untouched!

A few feet away from the discovery-group Delta One, Two and Three are watching the scene. They notice that the civilian found out and try to stop them.

On their way back to the Ice Dome, Rachel sees Nora and Corky falling on their back suddenly. Then some litte bullets hit Rachel and Mike, too. Both can kneel down and try to escape the bullets. First they think about a hailstorm because the bullets are made from ice. But they are so perfect they must be made by men. Rachel and Corky realise that someone fights them. They watch three men arriving at Nora and Corky, who are unconscious. One of them puts Noras neck full of ice. She`s going to die because she cannot inhale. Rachel and Mike are shocked. Rachel wants Mike and her to run away to safe their lifes...

In the meantime Marjory Tench and Gabrielle Ash are having their meeting. They discuss the illigal working of senator Sexton. Gabrielle does not believe Marjory?s words. She thinks it is a bluff to make her act for Tench. Finally Tench shows her the content of the envelope. Gabrielle is shocked when she sees the photos of her and Sexton both naked in his office when they slept together. Marjory Tench wants her to blame Sexton by telling about their affair in a press statement and make clear that Sexton is a lyer. Gabrielle turns and runs out of the office. She wants to leave the White House immediately...

Yours
Vivien
_Vivien_
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 16
Location: Germany

How to learn English? (30/30 Challenge) #135 (permalink) Tue Sep 05, 2006 19:03 pm   How to learn English? (30/30 Challenge)
 

Hi Vivien

_vivien_ wrote:
Hello Amy,

You are right. (I've read the book and I remember this part well. Wink)
Rachel, Corky, Nora and Mike are not going to dive. They leave the Ice Dome to get new data from the outside ice. Their way was very hard because of the stormy weather.


Here are my suggestions:

_vivien_ wrote:
Finally they reach the position to get the facts; if there is a shaft in the ice or not. Nora prepares her instruments. She only wants to work with Mike.
Finally they reach a position from which they will be able to find out if there is a shaft in the ice or not. Nora prepares her instruments. She only wants to work with Mike

_vivien_ wrote:
After seeing the printout she is shocked. The paper shows a whole from the place the rock was found down to the water under the ice shelf. That could mean that someone placed the rock there to trick them! The rock is not untouched!
After seeing the printout she is shocked. The paper shows a hole under the place the rock was found extending all the way down to the water under the ice shelf. That could mean that someone placed the rock there to trick them! The rock is not in the untouched condition previously assumed.

_vivien_ wrote:
A few feet away from the discovery-group Delta One, Two and Three are watching the scene. They notice that the civilian found out and try to stop them.
A few feet away, Delta One, Two and Three are watching the group's activities. They realize that the civilians have now discovered the fraud and must be stopped.

_vivien_ wrote:
On their way back to the Ice Dome, Rachel sees Nora and Corky falling on their backs suddenly. Then some litte bullets hit Rachel and Mike, too. Both can kneel down and try to escape the bullets.
On the way back to the Ice Dome, Rachel sees Nora and Corky suddenly fall on their backs. Then some bullets hit Rachel and Mike, too. Both duck down, trying to escape the bullets

_vivien_ wrote:
First they think about a hailstorm because the bullets are made from ice. But they are so perfect they must be made by men. Rachel and Corky realise that someone fights them. They watch three men arriving at Nora and Corky, who are unconscious.
At first they thought there was a hailstorm because the bullets were made of ice. But the "hailstones" are so perfectly formed, they must be man-made. Rachel and Mike realise that someone is attacking them. They watch as three men approach Nora and Corky, who are both unconscious

_vivien_ wrote:
One of them puts Noras neck full of ice. She`s going to die because she cannot inhale. Rachel and Mike are shocked. Rachel wants Mike and her to run away to safe their lifes...
One of them stuffs Nora's throat full of ice. She`s going to die because she cannot inhale. Rachel and Mike are shocked. Rachel tells Mike they have to run away to save their own lives.

_vivien_ wrote:
In the meantime Marjory Tench and Gabrielle Ash are having their meeting. They discuss the illigal working of senator Sexton. Gabrielle does not believe Marjory?s words. She thinks it is a bluff to make her act for Tench.
In the meantime Marjory Tench and Gabrielle Ash are having their meeting. They discuss Senator Sexton's illegal activities. Gabrielle does not believe Marjory?s words. She thinks it's all a bluff to convince her to work with Tench.

_vivien_ wrote:
Finally Tench shows her the content of the envelope. Gabrielle is shocked when she sees the photos of her and Sexton both naked in his office when they slept together. Marjory Tench wants her to blame Sexton by telling about their affair in a press statement and make clear that Sexton is a lyer. Gabrielle turns and runs out of the office. She wants to leave the White House immediately...
Finally Tench shows her the contents of the envelope. Gabrielle is shocked when she sees the photos of herself and Sexton naked in his office, engaged in sexual activity. Marjory Tench wants her to smear Sexton by announcing the affair to the press. This will also make it clear to the public that Sexton is a liar since he has previously denied having an affair. Gabrielle turns and runs out of the office. She wants to leave the White House immediately.

Amy
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8265
Location: USA

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