TOEFL® Essay: your approach to problem-solving

[Purplevalleys]

TOEFL Essay

Here is the topic of Longman Preaparation for TOEFL. I did it pretty quickly( I almost finished it in 22 mins), but I was lack of ideas. Indeed, I am not very aware of the topic. Just try to spread my essay so that it isn't too short. Boring, I think. please check my grammatical mistakes, 'cause I really did it under the pressure of time.

Topic: What is your approach to problem-solving, and how does it work for you? Use specific details to support your respond.

It's obviously hard to advoid problems. We always have troubles in doing anything. However, we have to learn how to treat our problems. I believe that facing the problems bravely and finding the solutions as soon as possible is the most feasible way.

Firstly, we shouldn't reject any problem we encouter. We should deal with it bravely. For example, when doing a history project, I was unable to give my best and got very bad mark. I felt very depressed and disappointed. Fortunately, my teacher gave me another opportunity and encouraged me much. She adviced me that I should learn from where my mistakes had come and try to overcome them. As a result, I learned valuable experience to redo the project best and not to give up whenever I fail.

Secondly, dealing with and overcoming any problem with the positive attitude help us improve ourselves. We can learn many things from our failure to live better. In that way, we can be more majure and know how to cope with this life on our own. Any problem or mistake we have can help open our eyes of what are our weak poins which we should work on. Consequently, we can have a better life, and due to our experience, we can also be very helpful to other people.

Finally, by finding the solutions to the problems, I can get other wonderful ideas. There might be many ways to do that work, and I can choose which is the best way. Moreover, I can advoid unexpected things that might hinder or slow my work. Therefore, I can get the best result and enjoy my achievement. It's true that I'm not only the person who have benifits from my success. If I'm working in a team, I will have a hand in helping other people. So every member of our team is satisfied with the success of team work.

In sum, it's good not to have problems or mistakes in our lives, but it's still very good if we can learn from them to live better.

Thanks a lot.

[Mister Micawber]

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It is obviously hard to avoid problems, We always have troubles in doing anything [Cut this sentence; too vague] and we have to learn how to deal with them. I believe that [delete this phrase throughout; it makes the essay too informal] Facing them bravely and finding the solutions as soon as possible is the most feasible way.

First, we should not reject any problem we encounter. We should deal with it firmly. For example, when doing a history project, I was unable to give my best and got a very bad mark. I felt very depressed and disappointed. Fortunately, my teacher gave me another opportunity and encouraged me much [avoid 'much' in affirmative statements]. She advised me to learn from where my mistakes had come and try to overcome them. As a result, I gained valuable experience in redoing the project better and learned not to give up whenever I fail.

Second, dealing with and overcoming any problem with a positive attitude helps us improve ourselves. From our failures, we can learn many things in order to live better. In that way, we can become more mature and learn how to cope with life on our own. Any problem or mistake we have can help open our eyes to the weak points that we should work on. Consequently, we can have a better life, and because of our experience, we can also be very helpful to other people.

Finally, by finding the solutions to the problems, we can get new ideas. There might be many ways to do a task, and we can choose which is the best way. Moreover, we can avoid unexpected obstacles and hindrances. Therefore, we can get the best results and enjoy our achievement. It is also true that we are not the only ones who benefit from our successes. If we are working in a team, we will have a hand in helping other people. So every member of our team is satisfied with the success of the teamwork.

In sum, it is good not to have problems or mistakes in our lives, but it is also valuable if we can learn from them to live better.

[Well organized. Avoid contractions. Avoid the personal references (I think, etc.) except in personal examples; doing this will make the essay more formal. Always save 5 minutes at the end of your writing time to proofread: this will save you lost points.]
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Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Purplevalleys]

Thanks a lot for your advice. I'll work on what you suggested.
It seems that I should practise writing more and more.