Are you a sulker?

[Alan]

Hi,

Are you a sulker? By that I mean that if you have a disagreement with someone, do you retaliate, move on or sit in the corner and say nothing - or as we say, sulk?

A
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Good Bye Summer

[Tamara]

Hi

Thanks for the new word, Alan.

Am I?
I'd say, for me, it depends on which 'part' of myself is currently 'most active'.

If it is my Mature Adult ( ), I try to resolve the (my!) problem actively and with minimal losses (generally).
Not suspending it and not hanging myself on it.

But if (when ) it’s the Offended Child or Hurt Teen... alas, it happens… I can behave as a sulker… or even worse.
At least, the wordless rebuke is the most harmless 'punishment for offenders' I master) when happen to fall in such a state...

_________________
It’s impossible to learn swimming without entering the water…

[Alan]

Hi Tamara,

Somehow I just can't imagine you sulking! But then I suppose we all do it sometimes. The thing is that for the onlooker (the one who's being sulked about if I can so twist the language) it can be quite amusing.

A
_________________
English as a Foreign Language
You can read my EFL story New year resolutions

[Tamara]

[Conchita]

I haven't gone into a sulk for centuries (almost, almost literally) -- yet another ageing sign? When it did happen to me (albeit ever so rarely), after the anger had gone away, which usually occurred after a short moment, I just couldn't look the person responsible for the sulk in the eyes without bursting into laughter (well, OK, maybe it was more like a crooked smile). Gosh, how I hated that -- I really wanted to keep feeling mad at him, but just couldn't.

[Yankee]

On the other hand, if you refer to someone as a "sulker", you indicate that you believe the other person's displeasure or unhappiness to be trivial.

If, for example, you are willing to tell someone that the majority of work they produce is nothing more than a copy of your own work, then it's clear that you place no value on the other person's work. In such a case, it wouldn't be unusual in the least if the other person decided to provide their work to someone else. This would not be an example of sulking.

If someone withdraws or departs, it is often simply because they prefer to be or work somewhere else or because they've come to a point where they perceive no other solution.

[Alan]

Hi Amy,

You wrote:

[Alan]

Hi Tamara,

Glad you've acquired a new word. It has a ring about it, doesn't it? It's what young Achilles did in his tent and on a much more basic level it's what poor old Gordon Brown does all the time. Mind you, he's been doing it for close on 10 years. But I too have learnt a new word today which I can share with you as I looked up 'sulk' in a dictionary and came across 'sulkies', which is the word for 'a light two-wheeled horse-drawn vehicle for one, used especially in trotting races'. Well, did you ever!

A
_________________
English as a Foreign Language
You can read my EFL story Head expressions for you

[Yankee]

Well, Alan, I guess some would feel flattered. Others complain that it's plagiarism, copyright infringement, etc. Some simply imagine their words are being stolen and get all bent out of shape about it. I recently received a note from someone who clearly fits the third category.

But, let's face it -- if you complain to someone else that what they create is usually nothing more than a slightly altered copy of something of yours, then you are calling their work unoriginal and redundant at best. There's no flattery there (except maybe a form of "self-flattery" on the part of the person who mistakenly believes he's being endlessly copied).

[Tamara]

[NinaZara]

I retaliate but I do sulk once in a while.Not because I'm mad or anything like that, it's just that I don't have the energy.
But when I do it with my father, it's always about getting it my way.
_________________
Try your best and damn the rest.

[Jamie (K)]

I was a BIG sulker when I was a teenager, but now I have a different style. It goes like this:

Somebody does something bad to me the first time.
I think, "Oh, it was just a mistake."

The person does the same bad thing to me the second time.
I think, "He probably won't do it again."

The person does the same bad thing to me the third time.
I think, "Maybe he has a good reason for doing that. I'll have to try to understand it."

The person does the same bad thing to me the fourth time.
I think, "He still doesn't know he's causing me a problem."

The person does the same bad thing to me the fifth time.
I think, "I wonder if I should say something. Maybe he doesn't realize what he's doing."

The process continues about five more times, during which I calmly ask the person not to do it anymore, and around the tenth time I explode.