TOEFL® essay: Universities should give the same amount of money to their students

[Secilhulya]

hi

here is one more essay that needs to be reviewed
thanks for your help in advance

regards

As lots of people will agree on the issue that the educational institution such as high schools and universities highly concentrated on academic developments in the past. Therefore, especially universities were leaving plenty of money for the academic researches and resources such as for library databases but not for the sports activities. However, by the time passes those institutions are now well aware of the need for subsidizing the sports activities for their students. I strongly support the argument that universities should leave the same amount of money as they give the university libraries. Through this essay, I will try to figure out my reasons why I hold this opinion.

To begin with, it is a matter of fact that globalization and intense competition started to appear in every aspect of the our live. From the food we eat to clothes we wear we have a close relation with the term globalization. Besides, in the work environment intense competition occurs between people as a side effect of globalization. The more you are well educated and well prepared for the life, the more opportunity for better jobs you have. This means it is not enough only to concentrate on academic success instead there must be additional activities that will distinguish you such as success in sports activities. This is only possible if the universities pay more attention to sports activities by leaving some more money and encourage their students to take part in those activities. The more students join in sports clubs, the more they can learn about how to be a part of a team or how to lead a team. No doubt, if university subsidies more those sports activities, their students will get more chance to reach success in the work life.

Secondly, most people who attended the university or collage know that studying for exams and writing term papers are really stressful and take plenty of time of the students. Having a hobby like playing football or basketball is definitely a good way of relieving stress caused by exams and papers, motivating ourselves for next studies, and enjoying the university life. In order to have more motivated students universities should make available all kinds of sports by increasing the amount of money that they leave for this purpose. The university I got my bechalor degree is a great example for this. Since at the beginning of each academic year my university was making a survey among its students in order to determine which sports activities should be the top concern of the institution, the university was famous for its efforts for increasing the quality of sports activities.

To conclude, different people will have distinct opinions concerning this isuue. However, what I believe is universities should pay more attention and leave more money to sports activities at least as much as they leave for the university libraries. This will provide the students with advantages such as learn how to be an efficient member of a team and relieveing stress caused by exams and papers.

[Alan]

HI,

As lots of people will agree, educational institutionS such as high schools and universities concentrated MAINLY on academic developments in the past. Therefore, especially universities LEFT plenty of money for the academic researches and resources such as for library databases but not for sports activities. However, AS time passes, those institutions are now well aware of the need for subsidizing the sports activities for their students. I strongly support the argument that universities should leave the same amount of money as they give the university libraries. Through this essay, I will try to figure out my reasons why I hold this opinion.

To begin with, it is a matter of fact that globalization and intense competition started to appear in every aspect of the our liveS. From the food we eat to THE clothes we wear we have a close relation with the term globalization. Besides, in the work environment intense competition occurs between people as a side effect of globalization. The more you are well educated and well prepared for life, the more opportunity for better jobs you have. This means it is not enough only to concentrate on academic success instead there must be additional activities that will distinguish you FROM OTHERS such as success in sports activities. This is only possible if the universities pay more attention to sports activities by leaving some more money and encourage their students to take part in those activities. The more students join in sports clubs, the more they can learn about how to be a part of a team or how to lead a team. No doubt, if A university subsidiSes those sports activities MORE, their students will get more chance to reach success in theIR work life.

Secondly, most people who attended university or collEge know that studying for exams and writing term papers are really stressful and take plenty of time FOR students. Having a hobby like playing football or basketball is definitely a good way of relieving stress caused by exams and papers, motivating ourselves for OUR next studies, and enjoying university life. In order to have more motivated students, universities should make available all kinds of sports by increasing the amount of money that they leave for this purpose. The university WHERE I got my bAchElor degree is a great example OF this. Since at the beginning of each academic year my university DID a survey among its students in order to determine which sports activities should be the top concern of the institution. The university was famous for its efforts for increasing the quality of sports activities.

To conclude, different people will have DEFINITE opinions concerning this isuue. However, what I believe is THAT universities should pay more attention and leave more money to sports activities at least as much as they leave for university libraries. This will provide the students with advantages such as learnING how to be an efficient member of a team and relieving stress caused by exams and papers.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story A day in the life of a policeman