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#1 (permalink) Thu Sep 27, 2007 15:20 pm TOEFL essay: The World is losing many important natural resources |
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The World is losing many important natural resources. One of them that I consider most important is clean water. In my opinion, clean water is the most important resource that our planet has because all the things that happen in the world every time require water. Plus, if water disappears, I think around 50 % of our life will be losing. There are many important points to consider in order to save clean water.
On one hand, clean water is one of the basic requirements people's need in order to be healthy. In spite of many countries for example those in Africa that cannot have clean water; I think that these countries do not receive clean water not because there is not enough water in the world, but because clean water does not have balance. Besides, affluent countries spend water in wasteful things and private other ones to have clean water. However, many countries promote that water is unique and we have to save it
On the other hand, we have to keep in mind world warming. World warming is destroying our planet and clean water is one of the harmful resources. If we want to drink or to take a shower every single day we have to save clean water. Another thing is contamination. There are many companies that require water and built their companies near rivers or lakes. Therefore, they throw wasteful materials to the water and contaminate clean water
I consider that governments should pay attention to this kind of situations that appears in our world every time. Because I think that they are more interested in build a space center in the moon or in the war with Iraq than to save natural resources, All in all, I think governments must keep in mind it and finally, together we can use our planet longer and make the entire world a better place for life. |
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Manug New Member
Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
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#2 (permalink) Thu Sep 27, 2007 16:32 pm TOEFL ESSAY: please i need somebody rate it ASAP. |
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| Manug wrote: | The World is losing many important natural resources. One of them that I consider most important is clean water. In my opinion, clean water is the most important resource that our planet has because all the things that happen in the world every time require water. Plus, if water disappears, I think around 50 % of our life will be losing. There are many important points to consider in order to save clean water.
On one hand, clean water is one of the basic requirements people's need in order to be healthy. In spite of many countries for example those in Africa that cannot have clean water; I think that these countries do not receive clean water not because there is not enough water in the world, but because clean water does not have balance. Besides, affluent countries spend water in wasteful things and private other ones to have clean water. However, many countries promote that water is unique and we have to save it
On the other hand, we have to keep in mind world warming. World warming is destroying our planet and clean water is one of the harmful resources. If we want to drink or to take a shower every single day we have to save clean water. Another thing is contamination. There are many companies that require water and built their companies near rivers or lakes. Therefore, they throw wasteful materials to the water and contaminate clean water
I consider that governments should pay attention to this kind of situations that appears in our world every time. Because I think that they are more interested in build a space center in the moon or in the war with Iraq than to save natural resources, All in all, I think governments must keep in mind it and finally, together we can use our planet longer and make the entire world a better place for life.
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I personally think that the bold sentence is not clear. The last sentence may be run on sentence. It will be better to split them. "more interested..." should be corrected to "much interested..." Let you check them  |
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Awatarn New Member
Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 1
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#3 (permalink) Thu Sep 27, 2007 16:37 pm TOEFL ESSAY: please i need somebody rate it ASAP. |
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| hey thanks you're right. these sentence are not clear.. |
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Manug New Member
Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
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#4 (permalink) Thu Sep 27, 2007 21:52 pm TOEFL ESSAY: please i need somebody rate it ASAP. |
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| hey i have to go know, later i will put the topic, i need 71 in the ibt toefl section ! bye thanks.. |
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Manug New Member
Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
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| TOEFLŪ essay: There are a lot of people that prefer stay their entire life in... | TOEFLŪ essay: Some people persue career paths that lead to management positions |