TOEFL® essay: How do movies or televisions influence people’s behavior

[William]

HI! I am a student from China. I will have TOEFL test in one month. So I do not know which level my essay is in. THANKS!

How do movies or televisions influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Everyone will clearly realize that the 21st century is absolutely an informationize society. Movies and televisions are playing a crucial role in the stage of the world. Nowadays there is an increasing trend that everyone, especially young people, is concerning more about mass media than ever before. Thus, we are influenced by movies and TVs, which can lead some problems, frankly admitted. However, in generally, they are beneficial for us.

It is well known that movies are essential cultural power to effect people in a proper behavior. To improve the harmful character of a person is an abstruse mission for teachers, parents, even the governments. Merely teaching and punishing is not likely a logical means for people, particularly who has awful habits, seeing movie is an advisable choice instead. The movies are always revealing the high qualities of individuals, such as kindness, friendship, and patriotism etc. They tend to impact the audiences and who are likely to imitate the behaviors of heroes in the plays. Thus you may see the Supermen to assist others in the real world and the world will be fulfilled love, peace without wars and conflicts. Like China, we have the mainstream movies every year near the Spring Festival, adults and children are apt to be imparted a more useful course than a speaker’s tiresome speech.

One aspect that is of great significance is that the TVs are fantastic tools of interaction between audiences and TV performers, such as host and hostess. Nowadays, TV is no longer a talkative machine, but an interactive tools. We can notice it is a tendency that the reality shows are extremely popular in the world. Like Super Girl in Hunan Satellite TV in China, it is a triumph in the media history of the Mainland China and more than 1 billion people have seen the contest. Some critics pointed out that it has misdirected the young.

Nevertheless, I do not support the former idea due to the fact that Super Girl has really showed us a faithful lives and pure dreams of all the competitors. I insisted that the program’s influence is continuous now, which has inspired the dream chasers to learn more, learn better and finally capture the peak of the mountain.

We cannot live without movies and TVs because of our modern living ways. Indisputably, movies and TVs are influencing us in a beneficial way. They promote our minds and improve our habit, also encourage us to establish our confidences and lead us to succeed. However, some movies and TVs are badly directed and posed individuals to a dark ways.

All in all, movies and TVs are not controversial to be a beneficial impact to human beings.

[Torsten]

Hi William,

Many thanks for posting your TOEFL essay here. I understand your main points and you can improve your essay by sticking to phrases and constructions you really know. I other words: Use simpler sentences that sound more natural. Some of your sentences are difficult to understand because you they contain phrases you have created yourself. Here is an example:

"To improve the harmful character of a person is an abstruse mission for teachers, parents, even the governments." Please re-write this sentence using simpler phrases.

Speak to you soon,
Torsten
_________________
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[William]

I mean that it is an abstruse problem for teachers, students and even the goverment to correct the others' bad behavior.

so is that right? if the 30 points are the full marks, how many points do you think I will get in Toefl test. thank u very much.