IELTS practice essay: Some businesses now say that no one can smoke cigarettes...

[Buby25]

Hey everyone,

my IELTS exam will be in April. I was born and raised in Germany but I lived in the States for approximately 4 years. Well anyways, right now I am studying for my exam. I wrote a practice essay and need some advise.
Some of my friends said I missed the topic, others said I didnt.

Here is the subject: Some businesses now say that no one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons.

The question is what do I have to agree/disagree to, the smoking ban in general or if offices banned smoking? I thought I had to agree or disagree to a smoking ban in general.

Oh yeah, here is my essay. I tried to put in my experience/knowledge as a nurse. Maybe someone has suggestion on how I can write about/ summarize given information better. Thanks for the help in advance, its very much appreciated.

With the appearance of the first law restricting smoking in public places in 1973, the smoking ban is one of the most heated debate throughout the world.

Restricting the places where people can smoke is a constant reminder to the public that smoking remains the leading preventable cause of death worldwide, and that its effects spread far beyond the smoker.
According to the World Health Organization passive smoking increases health risks such as cardiovascular disease and premature death in non-smokers. Children are especially vulnerable to tobacco smoke.

Being a non-smoker I agree to smoking bans in certain settings, such as workplaces and enclosed public spaces, mainly on the grounds of hygiene and safety.

I believe smoking restrictions in workplaces, for example, protects workers from harmful effects of second hand smoke and subsequently reduces the absenteeism from smoking and passive smoking diseases. In addition, bans of smoking improves work productivity and reduces the risk of fires in areas where flammable materials are stored or handled.

It is scientifically proven that non-smoking in bars and restaurants improves the air quality and cleanliness of such establishments.

Research and my experience as a nurse have shown that smoking bans reduce smoking overall.

For many people it is a hassle to walk or drive to the nearest designated smoking area, they consume less tobacco and eventually quit smoking.

The physical and medical consequences of active and passive smoking are immense.

It is important for everyone to understand why it is necessary to prevent smoking in public places. There is no doubt that smoking bans will always be criticised.

I think, in order for this law to be successfully implemented into our society, it has to be strongly enforced by local authorities worldwide.

[Nanucbe]

It is true that ban on smoking tries to keep the environment clean for fellow citizens and their rights are protected. So the only approach that is acceptable to day may be to blindly support. Nowadays no one can take the pleasure of saying that they smoke like Churchill did. By the way it is said that there is only one photograph of Churchill without his cigar. (a world famous one, I think by one great photographer, Karsh, who tricked him to get one like that) It is not also possible to advocate opening of cigarette shops like the church servant to cater openly to the needs of the cigarette lovers.

“Smoking remains the leading preventable cause of death worldwide” Is this a fact? Then everyone would stop smoking. Is there anything that will prevent aging and keep us young for ever?
‘Second hand smoke’ A nice expression and the first time I have ever come across one.
Your outline is good. Just continue.
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