TOEFL® essay sample: Luck has nothing to do with success

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TOEFL Topic 009: "When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above?

Success is goal of people. Success is not only being rich and powerful but also simply something of which they dream. In order to approach goal, they make every effort to work hard. Unfortunately, there are some people not being successful even when they are hard working because of unlucky. Success is made of hard working and luckiness.
For example, I have a friend that is a good at student. He always gets best mark, but in the final exam, he got a low mark because of his sickness. Therefore, he could not pass his dreamed university. How poor of him! He is now a shopkeeper of his father bad condition shop. It is a boring job that he is dislike.

In addition, I met an intelligent person. His dream is studying oversee for a bright future. He had tried his best to prepare for his test and interview. Happily, he got the scholarship. When smiles were on his lips, the worst new came to him; his dad was died because of an accident. His sick mother would live alone if he studied oversee. As a result, he decided to study in a national university and take care of his mother. It means that he gets rid of his dream and his bright future. It is caused of his unluckiness.

These two examples are two unlucky people who work hard. In conclusion, luck is a part of success. It is not means that a lucky person is a successful one. Therefore, you should work hard for well preparation of your success.