Marital age

[Jamie (K)]

Frank's query about a joke has brought up an interesting issue.

What do people in your country think is an acceptable age difference between spouses?

In the United States, people generally think under 10 years is normal. If there is a 10-year age difference, they may tease the older spouse about "robbing the cradle". However, the greater the age difference becomes, the more Americans will think the marriage is obscene. I have met American women whose husbands were as much as 22 years older than they were, and they had happy marriages, but they constantly had to justify their choice of a husband to disgusted neighbors and coworkers.

Meanwhile, I once lived in another country in which an age difference of 20 years or a little more was considered within normal range. In the country directly north of it, however, that was considered very abnormal, because almost everyone there married someone no more than two or three years separated in age.

How is it in other countries?

[Molly]

[Molly]

Carmen ''Tita" Cervera

[Pamela]

Hi Jamie(K),

It's considered intrinsically normal to have a 20- year difference in my country.For instance, the age difference between my aunt and uncle is around 19 years and I can hardly remember their having any problem in regard to this matter or any censure addressed to them. If people love each other and are on the same wavelength, the age issue is of no importance, I think. It barely sounds weird to me. As regards my personal preferences, I would be glad to have a spouse with 10 years separated in age.

[English Rpg Gm]

Interesting question. I once dated a woman 25 years my senior, and have consistently courted older women in Canada. In fact, the women I dated were exclusively European or Asian. However, none of these relationships led to marriage.

Now that I moved to Poland (to find a wife) my dating pool of eligible women has dramatically dropped in age: by as much as 23 years! Most women my age in Poland are married. The thought of marriage to the younger Polish women, after I have dated them and got to know them, is dreadful to me.

I agree with Pamela about the age heuristic in marriage. But I have always been a maverick in searching for a "soul mate." Your mileage may vary.

The thought about marriage mores might come into play in a society due to any number of influences, some of which may include:
a) The Judeo-Christian Bible doctrines, where God arranged a marriage between an older man and a younger woman;
b) Marriage being synonymous with children - and older men with younger women in marriage would be totally congruent with this view, whereas the reverse would not;
c) Sex for Food - as women were without the right to own property in medieval Europe, marriage was more of a way to secure a better future. Presumably, the older the man the more he could afford to care for a wife and children. (This concept, the care for a wife, is still written within polygamous marriage.)

[Molly]

[Molly]

What's the youngest or oldest woman or man you've dated , Jamie?

[BelajarEnglish]

Hi all

Perhaps some of you might regard me an old-fashion, I would marry the girl that no more than 5 years younger that me will be preferable. But, I never know..

In Indonesia, 10 years age difference is common. However, in some case especially in undeveloped city (village) 70 + rich grandfather marry 17 year old girl. Undeniable, there is not “love” element in the marriage. The poverty is the main issue. The parents married of the girl married off the girl to richer man (quite often from oversee). The man will financially help the girl family. Many many many people offended this practice, but no one realistically raise up and solve it.

[NinaZara]

In Malaysia nowadays people usually marry a person around their age. If the partner is 10 years older they will refer to him ('her' would be irrelevant here) as old but they don't think it obscene.

If he is 17 to 20 years older, then it will be considered obscene by many people, funnily enough, by men not by women.

Personally I don't really care if my husband is 40 years older than me, well, as long as he doesn't look it or more importantly, he doesn't act it.
_________________
Try your best and damn the rest.

[Molly]

Seems Jamie has deserted his own thread. Hm.

[Jamie (K)]

No, I just didn't answer your nosey personal question, Molly. I have been reading the thread all along.

[Molly]

In asking the thread question, did you want us to avoid personal views in our replies, Jamie?

[Molly]

He's gone again!

[Jamie (K)]

[Molly]