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 #2 (permalink) Sun May 11, 2008 2:47 am Addressing (Good morning, Miss!) |
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It's best to use the person's title and surname. For men you can say "sir", for women you can say "ma'am". Even though using "miss" isn't technically wrong for an unmarried woman, it's a bit old-fashioned and some feminists might object to it.
If you use "mister" instead of "sir", you'll sound like a child in an old movie or TV comedy from 50 years ago or more. Calling a man "mister" instead of "sir" can sound very disrespectful, and when it doesn't sound disrespectful, it sounds uneducated.
If you call a person Mr., Mrs. or Miss and their first name, like "Mr. Tom", "Miss Jennifer", etc., you'll sound like a black slave from the days of slavery in the US.
It's also impolite to address your teacher as "teacher", but it's okay to address a professor as "professor". At my university we addressed our professors by their first names, unless they were very old.
"Madam" is also respectful, but you have to be careful with it, because a "madame" (pronounced the same way) is what we call a woman who manages a house of prostitution. Some uneducated people confuse the two. Once my father called a customer "madam" on the telephone and she got furious and said, "I AM NOT A MADAME!"
Middle-aged and elderly American waitresses whose voices sound like they've been cured in cigarette smoke for 20 years usually address everyone as "hon". I find this offensive, but most people don't mind it.
Many people don't care how you address them, and they say, "You can call me anything, but don't call me late for breakfast."
When Delta Airlines asked me for my title when I was filling out a form once, I wrote "His Divine Grace". For years later I got letters from Delta addressing me that way. |
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Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 5328
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA
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| #3 (permalink) Sun May 11, 2008 19:03 pm Addressing (Good morning, Miss!) |
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| Jamie (K) wrote: | It's best to use the person's title and surname. For men you can say "sir", for women you can say "ma'am". Even though using "miss" isn't technically wrong for an unmarried woman, it's a bit old-fashioned and some feminists might object to it.
=> Then what about "Ms"? If I use ""Ms" instead of "Miss", will it be completely ok and sound completely natural and native?
I know we can use "Sir" and "Madam", but I just want to know if there are other ways of addressing, because these words sound somehow a bit too formal (or is it just my non-native feeling?  ) Besides, both "Sir" and "Madam" seem so "French", especially "Madam",while I prefer words that are "completely English"
If you call a person Mr., Mrs. or Miss and their first name, like "Mr. Tom", "Miss Jennifer", etc., you'll sound like a black slave from the days of slavery in the US.
=> I just thought of this usage because I've seen in the film "Pride and Prejudice" a scene in which Mr Darcy call Elizabeth "Miss Elizabeth"  (The book "Pride and Prejudice is by Jane Austen - an British writer, but I'm not sure the film is British or American)
It's also impolite to address your teacher as "teacher", but it's okay to address a professor as "professor". At my university we addressed our professors by their first names, unless they were very old.
=> I know addressing a teacher "teacher" is very odd, but many teachers here ask students to address them that way (+_+)
Actually I just want to know how to address my teacher correctly, politely but not too formally. It's not very difficult to male teachers as I find "Sir" quite all right, but imagine I'm talking with a 25 year old female teacher: whenever she asks me something and I finish a sentence, I can't help saying something like addressing ("Ms" for example), because it sounds very rude and impolite to give a plain answer), but I can't always say "That's correct, Ms X", "I think I'm wrong, Ms X" because it sounds too formal. Besides, as stated above, the use of "Madam" also seems too formal, too "French" and also too... old for that teacher (+_+)
Most important of all, though here on this site, I always call the teachers by their names intimately,in my country we CAN NEVER address our teachers only by their names. I know it's quite odd to you but it's a matter of culture. Calling a person older than you is considered very very rude, unmannerly and impolite (+_+)
So, in a nutshell, could you please tell me what I should do in this case?
Many thanks for reading this
Nessie
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 Nessie
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Joined: 16 Feb 2008
Posts: 1102
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| #4 (permalink) Sun May 11, 2008 20:59 pm Addressing (Good morning, Miss!) |
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"Sir" and "madam" are not too French. In fact, "sir" is not French at all, unless you go way back into its etymology.
In the United States, we seldom say "madam" and prefer to say "ma'am", for reasons I have already mentioned.
"Sir" and "ma'am" are the respect titles we generally use.
The title "Ms." has to be used before a name and can't be used alone. In general, it's only used if we don't know the woman's marital status, or if she's a somewhat extreme feminist and insists on it. (In a cartoon once, I saw a man address a woman in authority as "Mrs. Smith" and the woman barked back, "It's MS. Smith! And before you ask, yes, I AM MARRIED!" The humor in this is that the original reason for saying "Ms." was to hide the woman's marital status, because many feminists thought marriage was demeaning.)
If you really want to do the right thing, why not do what my students do? Near the beginning of the semester, they just ask me what I prefer them to call me. Often they don't have to ask me, because other students tell them. |
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Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 5328
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA
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Nessie
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 16 Feb 2008
Posts: 1102
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| be at someone's desk? | Can I say "my listening skills"? |
) Can it be simply "Mr/Ms"?