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 #2 (permalink) Thu Aug 14, 2008 19:21 pm Is the passage written correctly? |
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Make it more succint and eliminate unnecessary qualifications.
"Non-profit organizations cannot exist with:
1.Government obstacles.
2.Poor legal conditions for funding." |
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/guest/
New Member
Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Posts: 1
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| #3 (permalink) Thu Aug 14, 2008 19:22 pm Is the passage written correctly? |
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| Thank you very much, /quest/. |
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 Klpno
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 385
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| #4 (permalink) Fri Aug 15, 2008 4:04 am Is the passage written correctly? |
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| /guest/ wrote: | Make it more succint and eliminate unnecessary qualifications.
"Non-profit organizations cannot exist with:
1.Government obstacles.
2.Poor legal conditions for funding." |
This is a stylistic remark, but it's right on. However, if you were to write it out the long way, you should simply cut out the "absence of" and "presence of" parts, and you'd be fine. Of course, it would still be longer and more complicated than necessary, but oh well. The reason you don't need those words is because you already have the word "absence" in the first line, and you don't need to repeat it in #1, and in #2, the absence of a presence is just that -- an absence! So it's kind of... redundant, in a way. |
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Taeglich
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 15 Aug 2008
Posts: 29
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| #5 (permalink) Fri Aug 15, 2008 4:10 am Passage: In any state, non-profit organizations cannot exist in the absence... |
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| Thank you very much, Taeglich. |
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Klpno
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 385
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| How can I differ blast from explosion? | I find myself asking myself... |
