TOEFL® sample essay: It is the responsibility of government to provide health care

[Thdud]

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Can you correct my essay, especially some usage and grammatical error?
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Subject: it is the responsibility of government to provide health care to everyone living in that country

There is no doubt that government exists mainly for its citizens and I strongly believe that the role of government has not been important more than nowadays that gap between the rich and the poor is at the highest point. Therefore, I agree that the government should be responsible for providing health care to everyone living in that country because health care is the very basic need for people to live and greatly contributes to higher standard quality of living.

First of all, health care is a very basic need for people to live so that government should be responsible for that. Health care should be provided for people regardless of their wealth, social positions, or success since health care is indispensable for people to sustain their lives. If the government does not provide health care to everyone in the country, then people who can not afford themselves would be greatly harmed. For example, in Africa, a lot of basic necessities including health care are not fulfilled since government is being irresponsible for that. Therefore, a lot of young children are dying even because of flu which surely can be medicated by very basic health care.

Moreover, health care provided to everyone in the country would definitely contribute to improving standard quality of living. Without health care available whenever people get sick, people can not step further in their lives, meaning that they can not make their lives very valuable because it is even hard for them to sustain their lives. For example, when I went to Nepal for voluntary works, I saw a lot of children giving up to achieve their dreams since their living environment is too poor to think about their future. I think that free health care provided by government can at least give them chances to think about their future.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that government should be responsible for health care for its citizens since health care is very basic need citizens should be provided and makes people to live in a higher quality. I think that government is the only organization which can improve citizen's lives more convenient and valuable by having little more responsibilities on its shoulder.