Toefl® essay: Language dialect or accent in your country.

[Forever_The_Ones]

Quote:

Hi everyone, this is my first topic that I send to this Forum, I want my writing to be corected as I want to improve my writing skill. If there are much fault, please forgive me and I will try my best the next time. If the scale is 5 (Like Toefl iBT essay writing), what is my point ? Thanks a lot for your reading. [UNT]

Topic: "What do you think of when you hear a certain language dialect, or accent from your country? What stereotype(s) do you have of the people who speak in this way? How do you react to these people? Choose one group to focus on."

Our country has many PARTICULAR language dialectS or accentS. Each dialect has its own feature, some are easy to LISTEN TO and some are not, some are just a little different from THE original language and some are VERY. Moreover, each dialect has its own beauty. In my opinion, the most beautiful language ACCENT in my country is Hue.

THE Hue accent is easy to recognize. When I HEARD Hue people talking ON the
television, I COULD NOT THINK WHAT IT WAS because IT WAS so strange to me. But the second and the third TIME, I was beginning TO like this accent. I don’t know why but this accent makes me interested. Especially, when Hue people sing a song, or read a poem, they can communicate their emotion very WELL as IF you are singing or reading. I cannot express my feelingS when I HEAR their song or poem.

On the other hand, the accent can show the character of these people. LIKE THE Hue accent, I think the people there are honest, friendly. I know that from my uncle WHO was born in Hue. He loveS me very much. When I am sad, APART FROM my PARENTS, he is the first PERSON who MAKES me LAUGH and teachES me the solution. Although sometimes, I do the wrong thing, but he IS never angry with me, and just showS me how to be A good PERSON, maybe like him.

Last year, I came to Hue the second time. I am really INTERESTED because I HAVE heard many Hue accentS everywhere in Hue. I talked to them wherever and whenever I like and they are happy to talk with the other dialectS TO people LIKE me. THE Hue accent is esay to imitate, I know how but I do not want to do that, because I think just Hue people can speak the right way and I cannot speak well and BEAUTIFULLY LIKE them. Now, if my PARENTS give me another chance to have A picnic, I will come to Hue again and talk to the people there whenever I like.

EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID above are the things I want to talk about THE Hue accent, the BEST AND MOST IMPRESSIVE accent . If I COULD HAVE A miracle, I wish I HAD BEEN born AND HAD studied and lived in Hue liked my uncle. In conclusion, I love THE Hue accent.
I welcome you to Hue, Vietnam to know how BEAUTIFUL this accent IS.

[Alan]

Hi,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL LETTERS above.

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Word Story: Health

[Forever_The_Ones]

Hi sir,
I can't see any correction, can you show me again.
And can you give me the score, I want to know my ability to have right strategy.
Thank you
UNT