Please, rate my TOEFL® essay: teachers should be paid...

[Rorrim]

Dear Sir,

I am a student. I try to improve my skills in writing in order to pass my TOEFL well.
Please, rate my essay.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn.

It goes without saying that teacher is one of the most important chain links between students and knowledge. Teachers provide the pure knowledge transportation into our minds, so I think they can be estimated as “transmitting devices” and should be paid according to a volume of the transferred information. The statement mentioned in the topic is very difficult to prove or deny.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of negligent students and a fair amount of teachers who are indifferent to their pupils and their successful studying. It is obvious that there must be a stimulus which will raise teachers’ efforts in students’ perception. On the other hand, there must be another facet of this. Not only should the teachers have had stimulus but also the students. Even a top-notch teacher will not be able to get knowledge into the head of the person who is not interested in information gaining.
Nevertheless, there is one more problem,—overcrowded classes. The teacher can not simply find time for all pupils and their problems. I think that our educational system needs some changes, for examples, a decrease in the number of students in the groups and an increase in the number of teachers.
We face with the next problem: how can we fix the price of teacher labor according to how much his students learn? We need some sort of scales, a lot of initial, intermediate and final exams and surveys in order to figure out these prices. It will be a real pain in the neck for teachers and students, but I consider that this way of performance evaluation will improve our educational system and the level of students’ knowledge.

TIA, rorrim.

[Alan]

Hi rorrim,

I have made some changes using capital letters: